The Millionaire Matchmaker: My Idol

Bravo to Bravo for producing The Millionaire Matchmaker. What an excellent show. If you haven’t watched it before, the star, a third-generation matchmaker named Patti Stanger, has a dating club for millionaires. They join the club, and then she finds them a handful of hotties with personalities she thinks will complement theirs. She holds “mixers” during which the millionaire can work the crowd to find which match he (it’s usually a male) likes best. In the end, the two go on a “master date”, which typically includes extravagant things like flying in a helicopter or gambling in Vegas with $20,000 like it’s no big deal. However, there was one time where a guy millionaire made the girl wake up at 7am for a martial arts date in the morning. Ew.

Not surprisingly, membership costs into Patti’s club are absolutely ridiculous. For straight men, rates BEGIN at $45,000 per year, and they go up to $200,000 per year. Seriously. I can’t even fathom having that much money to throw away on a dating service. Those prices don’t even get you personal services- just full access to a database of singles. Fortunately, the database has over 20,000 women around the world who sign up (which is free), usually after watching the show. For personalized member services, tack on an extra $30,000 to the base cost of membership.  Even just a lunch consultation with Patti costs $5000, and ONE hour on the phone is $2000 per hour! Membership fees are waived for those who are on the actual show though- definitely a good incentive to convince members to subject themselves to the scrutiny of millions of viewers.

While I do helplessly love the show, I do find it annoying and outrageous that these people pay her so much to set them up. She claims to have (for guys) a success rate of a little over four out of five, but still, her advice is hardly novel. She speaks the truth and calls it like she sees it, but that sure isn’t making the rest of us millions of dollars a year. Okay, fine. I’m jealous. This woman is totally my idol for using her gut feelings about people getting along to make a bajillion dollars.

Patti is perhaps most known for ripping apart the girls who come to her in hopes of being chosen to attend a mixer with a millionaire. She doesn’t hesitate to tell girls they don’t know how to dress right, they look like strippers, have annoying voices, etc. She seems to especially hate redheads. My roommate in college actually went to an evaluation, but thankfully Patti didn’t say anything mean.

I guess the bottom line is, marrying a millionaire might be a little more fun than finishing law school. Where do I sign up?